Compassion

 Hello Grandchildren,

Here we are again and Grandpa this time wants to talk about compassion. I believe each of my grandchildren need to be compassionate, always. In fact, it would make me so proud to hear someone that knows you, tell me that they believe you are a very compassionate person.

Here is the Merriam-Webster dictionary's definition of compassion. There were other descriptions but for the most part, this version closely aligns with Grandpa's version.

"sympathetic consciousness of others' distress together with a desire to alleviate it."

Grandpa's Point of View:

I believe that the word compassion is a lot like the word "charity". We end up feeling like we really want to help anyone that is suffering some sort of distress. It is also like the words kindness and caring.

Help can be great - So many people want, and should be, self-reliant and do much on their own. This is part of learning to overcome obstacles to make us stronger and give us the ability to help others. But it takes each of us time to build up self-reliance through experience. Also, we have different capacities and abilities in our life. We simply cannot be good at everything right now, and maybe never (Grandpa is not good with memorizing things for example). In times like that, we need help. It is really OK to accept, or even ask for help, in areas of your life that cause you fear, anxiety, pain, suffering, distress, etc.

"Have" feelings of compassion - It is a good and natural emotion to have feelings of wanting to help someone in need. I am very hopeful you each have those feelings for others.

"Act" on feelings of compassion - When you have feelings of compassion for someone, there is often a "timing" to the need of the individual. Someone may have a car that broke down somewhere, or a person who just had an operation, or a family whose home was burned, or a friend whose family is struggling, or someone who just lost their job, or someone who doesn't have any money for food or clothing, or someone whose relative just died, or someone who didn't get the part they wanted in a play, or someone who scored a goal mistakenly in their own goal, or someone who just got yelled at, or someone who is alone, or someone who just got hurt.

You need to act upon the feelings of compassion you receive. It often means acting now. Some things can't wait. Sometimes, it means to go right over on the playground to help, sometimes it means going home to make something you can make that you think will help make things better for them.

It is going to cost you something to do this act of compassion. It will cost you time, or money, or something of value to you. We often refer to this as a sacrifice. You are giving up something for someone else. From Grandpa's point of view, that is just fine. To help others is one of the most noblest things to do on this earth. That is showing compassion.

Compassion for Parents and Siblings - OK, this is a no-brainer. You should most definitely have compassion for your parents and your siblings (if you have any brothers or sisters). I mean it. This is important and it will tell something good about yourself if you have compassion towards your parents and siblings. Try it more often and see what happens. Yes, you might get screamed at, but that might happen anyway :).

Examples of Compassion

Grammy and her friend (visiting teacher) Kate Stitt - helping when Grammy was overwhelmed.

One day, when your parents were very young, Grandpa was out of town and Grammy had been up during the night with Nick, who was a baby at the time, he had been sick. Lacey, Jenny, and Jason were supposed to be up at school but Grammy hadn't taken them yet because she was so behind. Matt was probably running around, and Nick was crying and hungry. 

Kate Stitt, Grammy's "Visiting Teacher" and friend, had made an appointment earlier in the week to come over and see how Grammy was doing. Kate rang the doorbell and Grammy answered and tried to tell Kate that things were going just fine, without opening the door very much. Kate looked around Grammy and pushed the door open asking, "What is going on here? Why are your kids still here and not in school?".

Grammy was embarrassed and said, she was just a little behind with everything that day. Kate said she would take the kids to school. Grammy said that wasn't necessary. Kate asked Lacey, Jenny and Jason if they were ready to go to school right now, they were, so Kate took the older kids to school.

Then, much to Grammy's surprise, Kate came back to the house and a just opened the door and came right in. Nick was crying, because he was still hungry. Kate told Grammy to take Nick upstairs and take care of him and that she would take care of Matt downstairs. Grammy was able to feed Nick and put him to sleep, then she took a quick shower and got dressed. Running downstairs to see that Matt was happily watching a cartoon on TV and Kate had cleaned up all the breakfast dishes and opened the drapes making everything so much better!

Grammy remembers that Kate helped her that day even though Grammy felt embarrassed and didn't want her to stay. (She really did need the help though.) Grammy still remembers and appreciates Kate's compassion for helping her out in a time of need. Grammy said, it changed the whole day for her and everything went better from that point on. Grammy also said she learned a little more about how it is OK to receive help, even ask for it if you really need it.

I decided to use this picture above as we stand in front of Grandpa and Grandma Chambers house. Grandpa likes to find different, random, family pictures, even though they might not fit the scenario that is being discussed.

Moving Day - My Friend Ken, and his compassion

Grammy and I were moving into our house in Portland in our early years. We just had two children; Lacey and Jenny. Grammy was very pregnant with Jason and could not help move too much.

The day we moved it was raining really hard. We didn't have a lot of help that day. My childhood friend, Ken Nielson was one of a few people in Vancouver who helped us pack up the truck. I cannot remember all of the circumstances but we really didn't have anyone in Portland to help us unload the truck, except Ken and another friend of mine. (This was before cell phones...). Both Ken and the other guy had a meeting they had to go to that night and so they left before we could fully unload the truck.

Grandpa and Grammy were unloading the small items in the pouring rain. It was around 9:00 p.m. and we were just coming to the big stuff. We were pretty discouraged that we didn't have any help and we were worried that Grammy might be doing too much while being pregnant. Not to mention two little girls who needed their beds and sleep.

Just as we were exhausted and wondering what to do, Ken showed up. It was hard to believe that he would come over after his meeting from so far away and help us move the big stuff out of the truck. Grammy and I were so happy, and so thankful for our good friend to come back and help, even when it was hard for him also. Ken showed us compassion. I still remember that moment today, just like it was yesterday :). Ken said all through the meeting he was thinking of us and how hard it would be for us without him. So, after the meeting he rushed right back. What a great friend!

This is a picture taken about a year and a half ago in March 2023 that shows family and friends helping move my business into a new building. Family and Friends are so kind to me. All the people you see in this picture are compassionate people. There are also people not in this picture that took care of other family members, so these people could help us. They are just as compassionate as this group.

Drive Thru Compassion

OK, I am going to toot my own horn here, but since it is my viewpoint, I can do what I want :).

I was sitting with Grammy at the Drive Thru window at Dairy Queen. I had just paid the money for our peanut buster parfait, when we saw they were doing a service project asking for donations of coats for those that didn't have any that winter. I took of my nice coat I was wearing and handed it to the drive thru attendant right through the little drive thru window.

There is often an immediacy component (the right timing) that goes with how you feel about a situation. Again, you can have a feeling that you should do something, and you just need to do it and not think too much about it. 

Since I am writing this to you around Halloween, and I didn't have any pictures of me giving coats away, I decided to include a picture of Lacey, Jenny, and Jason in their Halloween costumes. And I am adding one more below because I don't want Matt or Nick to feel left out. Jason gets to be in both pictures. That is compassion on my part - very appropriate to say that when I am talking about how compassionate I am :).