Don't Be Selfish
Being Selfish (or
Selfishness)
September 1, 2024 - Topic #5
Grandpa Bruce Randall
The subject I wish to focus on today to have you consider is the act of being selfish.
The dictionary describes being selfish as: ” (of a person, action, or motive) lacking consideration for others; concerned chiefly with one's own personal profit or pleasure.” This is the definition I am going to stick with. There are other definitions that the newer generations would like to introduce, that I don’t agree with.
The bottom line from Grandpa is that we all need to be less selfish. With that in mind, let me share with you some of the thoughts I have on being selfish.
Mostly Bad Characteristics of Being Selfish
·
Being selfish causes bad feelings. If you are always doing things you want to
do, other people (friends, family, even classmates) don’t want to be around you
because they know you are going to choose to take care of yourself first and
put everyone else second when making decisions.
·
Selfishness is hard to see, especially when
you are selfish. Quite a few people can’t even tell they are being selfish
because they have just grown up that way and they think it is normal. Boy are
they wrong.
·
Selfishness is easier to see in others than
in yourself. This goes with the issue above, but it is worth pointing out separately.
We seem to be pretty judgmental about people who are being selfish, but we can’t
see it in ourselves. Look in the mirror occasionally and ask yourself, “am I being
selfish?”. Hopefully it will cause you
to pause and think about it. By the way, if your answer is always “no, I am not
being selfish”, then remember what I said about selfishness being hard to see
in yourself.
·
Being Selfish stunts personal growth. We,
as humans, should have a desire to learn and grow and care for other people.
Being selfish keeps you from growing to a mature adult.
·
Being Selfish hurts the family. Either
parents or children can be selfish. Either way you look at it, it is quite
difficult to live in an environment of selfishness. If a child is selfish, it
can harm the other children and also harm the parents. If a parent is selfish,
it can harm their spouse and their children. When family members are not being
selfish, they are putting other family members needs and wants in front of
their own. This is often a good thing to do. Not always, but often it is.
·
“I don’t care” attitude.
o
When you don’t care about the feelings of
others, you are being selfish.
o
When you don’t care how much something costs and
that you expect your Mom and Dad to buy it for you, you are being selfish.
o
When you think you deserve to play while your
parents are really busy trying to be parents, you are being selfish.
o
When you don’t clean up your room, or do family
chores when asked, you are being selfish. Someone has to do the work, but you
are not contributing so the chore doesn’t get done or someone else has to do
it.
·
Can selfishness be good? Grandpa says, “NO”. The world is trying to
make selfishness look better and better all the time. It would make sense in
the “me” generation. The world continues to have more and more influencers that
create content and thoughts to make selfishness sound like the right thing to
do. Why do you think they write like that? They are selfish. They want more
likes. That is what many of them live for. So, I would always look at
selfishness as a bad character trait in a person. You can go from there and
make your own decisions.
· Taking care of yourself is good – You will
definitely have to take good care of your physical, mental, and spiritual self-first,
in order to help others. Make sure you do that. However, we can get mixed up
with how much time and effort we spend on ourselves, and we can go overboard on
it. That is being selfish.
Real Examples Of Being Selfish – (We will use Grandpa
examples, so we don’t make anyone else in the family feel bad 😊.).
Emery and Grammy’s Pillow
Just after Grammy and I were first married, I was the Teacher’s Quorum Advisor. I had the young men over to our apartment for a movie night. Grammy was not there. A really big, sweaty young man aged 15 name Emery didn’t have a comfortable place to sit. We had a folding chair. I went in to get a pillow from our bedroom to put on the chair for him. Well, I took Grammy’s pillow instead of mine “just in case” Emery left a stinky smell. I was smiling just a little when I did it, thinking that she probably would never find out that this is what I did. Guess what, she immediately found out. She got home while they were all still there and she immediately saw that Emery was sitting on her pillow. I am still embarrassed that I was that selfish. I cannot tell you how many times in my life since then when a situation arises that the Emery pillow experience helps guide me to be a little less selfish.
I could not easily find a picture of Grammy sitting on a
pillow, so I am including one of her in our den in our family home. Her smile reminds
me of the feeling “oh, Bruce, do you remember when you took my pillow and gave
it to Emery?” I love Grammy!
Grandpa’s Sunday Cake
Grandpa loved having yellow cake with chocolate frosting for
dessert for Sunday dinner. Grandpa loved to make the cake himself. But it was mainly
for selfish reasons. First, I could make the cake and since I loved eating the cake
batter, I could take quite a few spoonsful out of the batter before I put it in
the oven. Additionally, I was the one to frost the cake. Thus, I was the one who
got to sneak some frosting.
One more selfish thing about Grandpa and his love for yellow
cake with chocolate frosting. Grandpa had to have a center-middle piece. Every Sunday
dinner, each of the children were always hoping to have the biggest piece, with
the most frosting on it. Well, Grandpa made sure that the center-middle piece,
of which there were only two, was reserved for Grandpa. I believe I took the “Matilda”
approach when I did that (“I’ big, you’re little…. And there is nothing you can
do about it”) Very selfish attitude of Grandpa. Don’t get me wrong, I still want
the middle piece, but I have someone else cut the cake and serve it, so I don’t
have that selfish feeling, as much 😊. By the way. Grandpa continues to love to
make brownies because I can eat as much of the batter as I want prior to
cooking it. So, when you see a lot of other people’s brownies that seem to be
taller in size when you get one, that is because Grandpa ate so much of the
batter that my brownies may be half the size of regular ones 😊.
I love making brownies! I couldn’t find any pictures of our yellow cake already
baked so I went with the brownie mix I like, and a picture of Grammy’s butterscotch
brownies….
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